Just say “No”

Let me set the record straight. I am NOT superwoman! I cannot do it all, although I keep jamming more and more into my days (and nights). I am not perfect, although I put pressure on myself to be so. I can’t possibly please everyone all of the time, but I keep trying.

I’m over-scheduled and over-stressed. And while it is easier to say “yes,” to the requests that come my way, I need to get better at saying “no.” This is a tough one for a person like me with an innate desire to please, but I’m learning that it’s important to set boundaries, understand my limits, and learn to tactfully say, “Thanks, but not this time.”

The Mayo Clinic has this to say about why it’s okay to say “no”:

• Saying “no” lets you honor your existing obligations and ensure that you’ll be able to devote quality time to them.
• Saying “no” can give you time to pursue other interests ... or simply relax! Just because you’ve always helped plan the company softball tournament doesn’t mean that you have to do it forever. 
• Always saying “yes” isn’t healthy. When you’re overcommitted and under too much stress, you’re more likely to feel run-down and possibly get sick.
• Saying “no” opens the door for others to step up and help. 

Now that you’re ready to say “no,” here are a few tips to consider when turning down requests:

• Be respectful.
• Keep it simple. No long explanation is required.
• Offer an alternative if you have one.
• Be friendly, but stand by your convictions.

In an earlier blog I wrote that it takes at least 21 days to break a bad habit or form a new one. That means you’ll say “no” plenty of times before you feel comfortable doing so. That also means the time to get started is now.

In an effort to practice what I preach, next time I get a request and don’t have the energy or desire to say “yes,” I will try to say “no.” It may take superhuman strength to do this, but I still have a cache of kryptonite to help me stand firm.