Mary Phillips and I were friends in middle school. I was in eighth grade and she was in seventh. Yet while I was older, she was much wiser.
She taught me a life lesson that I still live by 40 years later.
Mary was a lively 12-year-old with a level head and a directness about her unusual for a girl her age. She said it as she saw it, which was one of the things I really liked about her. Still, we did our share of giggling and gossiping -- about boys, girlfriends, parents ... you name it.
A typical conversation would go something like this:
“Mom got really mad at me last night,” Mary might say. “She sent me to my room and said I couldn’t come out until I had studied at least an hour for our math test.”
“You think that’s bad,” I might reply, “Dad threatened to ground me if I didn’t study at least two hours for the test!”
If Mary said, “Tom passed a note to me in class today.” I might respond by saying, “Guess what? Jeff kissed me in the back of the library!”
I consistently one-upped her without even knowing it.
Then one day, Mary reached her breaking point. I no longer remember the circumstances of our conversation, but I have never forgotten the feedback she gave me in a moment of frustration.
“Why can’t you let me tell a better story, just once?” she asked.
While she didn’t realize it at the time, Mary taught me a life lesson in humility. Her words were a powerful reminder that it’s important to take a back seat at times and let those around you shine.
Writer Rick Warren says, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
Here are a few helpful steps on how to be humble from Learn This:
- Thank others
- Redirect praise to those who have helped you
- Don’t try to outdo those around you
- Don’t be first all the time
- Appreciate everything
- Listen more than you speak
- Don’t judge others
While Mary and I lost track of each other when I went to high school, I will always remember her. To this day, when I catch myself stealing center stage, I back off a bit and say a silent thank you to my middle school mentor who unknowingly taught me the importance of humility.
Thank you, Mary Phillips.
